One goal of a divorce is often to keep the kids from getting hurt. There are some concrete steps you can choose in order to prevent trauma for your children during an otherwise heated divorce.
Hire a Lawyer
Avoiding bitter disputes as much as possible will be important for your wellbeing, which will translate to better care for your children during a time of transition. And your children will not be exposed to as much conflict and anger between their parents.
In order to keep things as civil and neutral as possible, it's a good idea for each person to get a good family lawyer early on in the process. When these third parties are in the room for negotiations, it becomes harder for things to get out of control.
Aside from divorce planning, you probably also need to revisit your estate plan after the divorce to make sure your assets are set up to go to your children and that they will be looked after, if needed, before the children come of age. So, a short consultation from an estate planning attorney should shore this up for you.
Keep it Fair
Another thing that will go into finding the right lawyer is finding someone who is willing to be fair with your spouse. Keeping the assets split as fair as possible will help you avoid protracted arguments, even after the divorce is over. There may also be an issue of whether alimony payments or child support will go into the settlement, and a family divorce lawyer can advise you as to what's most fair and legal. When a settlement can't be reached, the issues will go to court anyway, and there are fairly standard splits of assets for divorce cases.
Keep Both Parents Involved
The issue of custody will come up during discussions with your lawyer. Whether the best option is for one parent to take full custody or for there to be joint custody, it's imperative that both parents get to remain involved with the children. Whether you like your spouse or not, unless they are emotionally or physically abusive to the children, they're probably still a positive psychological force for the kids. Visitation rights are the minimum suggested for keeping both parents involved as active parents.
Remember the Good Times
As hard as it may be, it helps to keep the good times in mind. Humanizing your ex spouse is a way to see that they're hurting as well, and each person probably deserves a little bit of slack. When you can find the most cooperative and empathetic path forward, it usually has a long term positive effect on both you and your children. After all, protecting your children in a divorce often means that your ex-partner will still be a fixture in your life for some time to come.
Contact a lawyer, like Acton & Snyder, LLP, for more help.